Some miscreant smacked my window with a rock at half four this morning. I leapt out of my bed and rushed to the broken frame in time to see the bandit sprinting off into the twilight.

Attached to the rock twas afixed a message,

"Welcum (sic) back, Bob. Your (sic) dead you total cunt. There (sic) going to kill you. Cunt. You and ure (sic) kind make me sic (sic)."

Normal service resumeth.