Today, I rose bright and early, went down to the town, into the local coffee bean establishment and pissed all over their floor.
A greasy youth, calling himself the supervisor attempted to call the 5-O, but I managed to successfully insert one of those brown sticks they use hopelessly for stirring coffee into his cornea.
I then poured myself a steaming cup of espresso before throwing an old lady headfirst into the chiller.
I'm terrible in the mornings.
Try starting the day without coffee, a quick sherman and half a bottle of Jack Daniels normally starts my day off in a much more laid back way.